Love and Tantra

With this blog on love, I’m revisiting a talk I gave about ten years ago to my Kundalini students then, and making some changes and additions. Needless to say, love is a vast subject in prose and poetry, so it is hard to know where to begin, but I think would be helpful to start out with a discussion of categories of love as they originated in Western culture before I move on to love and Tantra. 

Ancient Greek thinkers posited seven types of love: philia, storge, agape, ludus, pragma, philautia, and eros. All seven are more or less intertwined and all are important but for this discussion of love and Tantra, agape and eros are the most significant so I will just give a brief discussion of the others as follows:

Ludus is playful and uncommitted love. In short, ludus is fun love that is free of attachment. While ludus is often an aspect of eros (romantic or erotic love) problems arise when one party mistakes ludus for eros because ludus is more in accord with philia or friendship. 

On the other hand, pragma is useful or utilitarian love for either self-advancement or to fulfill duties and obligations.

Storge is familial love between spouses, children and animals and is not always reciprocal.

Philautia, or self-love, includes healthy self-esteem that involves one’s capacity to accept rejection and failure, and the willingness not to take oneself too seriously. Excessive self-love is false pride or hubris and is invariably punished by the gods. (In ancient Greek religion, Nemesis was the goddess of retribution against those who acted arrogantly before the gods.) The ancients believed that self-love was natural and need not be cultivated. This changed with the Christian notion of original sin.

Philia is love between friends, presumably equals who share similar beliefs and are able to criticize each other to correct character defects. Aristotle considered philia to be a prerequisite of happiness. Plato believed that philia and eros (romantic or erotic love) strengthened each other and that philia was the highest form of eros in so far as it could lead to philosophia, orwisdom. For Plato, however, eros by itself was an affliction, a form of madness that is usually just a short-term phenomenon. Eventually, those possessed would return to their senses. The 19th century German philosopher Schopenhauer believed that romantic love was a trick created by nature to propagate the species. In fact, modern scientists have demonstrated thatin a romantic relationship, just the sight of a loved one releases the chemical oxytocin, which promotes warmth and attachment. This chemical is also released in mothers in the presence of their infants and young children. As romantic relationships evolve and children grow older, less and less oxytocin is produced. For a relationship between partners to be sustained, erotic intoxication has to be replaced by pragma and philia.

Agape is love for strangers, natural beings, spirits, and gods without concern for rewards. Agape need not be reciprocal. Buddhists refer to agape as metta, loving-kindness. Metta can be cultivated in all the Buddhist schools by means of slogans for others such as “may you be well,” “may you be kind,” “may you be happy,” etc.  I have not found slogans to be particularly effective especially when they become an artificial obligatory routine to cultivate kindness and generosity. More effective for me is the Tibetan Tantric practice of Tonglen. This is a deceptively simple technique which begins by visualizing your own pain and suffering as a burning black tar or a similarly noxious substance and then ingesting the image within your body with your breath. On the exhalation, the tar dissolves into light and joy. In the next phases of Tonglen practice, the black tar pain and suffering of friends is brought in—you are not suffering alone—and finally, the pain of enemies. While this technique is not for the faint hearted –you are actually heightening your discomfort in the beginning— it is very powerful as it gradually lessens your pain and suffering. For those of you who wish to explore this practice further, here is Pema Chodron’s wonderful description of Tonglen:

Dzogchen, unlike other Tibetan Tantric practices, does not utilize slogans, or breathing techniques to cultivate metta. Just by going into awareness the body/mind dissolves into oneness and you merge with the other in the Void body field. This is often automatically accompanied by feelings of love, especially when it occurs from bodhicitta, the region of the heart/mind. When the heart chakra is also opened, feelings of love can be amplified.  Indeed, Rudi did not offer any special techniques for cultivating love beyond opening the heart chakra, and thought that mantras and slogans to this end were a waste of time.

Now we get to eros and Tantra. As I mentioned earlier, Plato considered romantic love to be a form of madness. When struck by an arrow from Cupid, the emissary of Venus (the goddess of love and beauty), one’s infatuation is beyond control. Yet for Plato, eros can lead to wisdom. This is shown in Botticelli’s famous “Primavera“(1492).

On the right side of this painting, the fair nymph Chloris is pursued by the wind god Zephyr. Resisting his carnal embrace, Chloris turns into Flora, the goddess of fertility and abundance who is related to Primavera, or Spring. In the center stands Venus who represents the ideal Florentine upper class lady, embodying both carnal love and love of wisdom. Venus however, favors love of wisdom, gesturing in the direction of Mercury, the God of Wisdom, and the three Graces, Pulchritudno, Chastitas, and Voluptas, representing comely beauty, chastity, and luscious beauty respectively. 

Cupid aims his arrow into the embodiment of chastity, who falls madly in love with Mercury.  With his caduceus, Mercury clears the clouds that obscure wisdom.  The caduceus is an ancient Greek symbol for medicine, alchemy and wisdom, in which healing and wisdom (Kundalini rising) are conjoined.  Intertwined snakes can be seen at the top of the caduceus; some iconographic experts have suggested that they are symbols for the central channel and the rise of Kundalini energies. Before they were bankers, the Medici patrons of this painting were doctors, and the oranges in this painting also reference this –-an allusion to the medicine balls depicted in the Medici family crest.

The scholar who is responsible for the iconography here, the Neo-Platonist Marsilio Ficino (1433-1499) was well versed in Western and Eastern esoteric philosophies. His Medici patrons brought scholars to Florence such as Gemistus Pletho (1360-1454) from the Middle East, to form a special academy in their home city. Pletho was not only an authority on Plato but he also knew about Eastern practices that had filtered into the philosophies and spiritual methodologies of Byzantium and ancient Rome. 

Notwithstanding the rich and complex symbolism of the Primavera painting, the basic meaning can be summed up as follows: Although carnal love is necessary for the continuation of life, desire can also be transformed into desire for wisdom. In Primavera, chastity only falls for wisdom. Ha-ha!  

This Platonic idea of love became a goal of Christianity. In traditional Buddhism and Hinduism chastity is also associated with wisdom. Reading Pantanjali’s Yoga Sutras, a classic work of Hindu spiritual philosophy, “pure” awareness, the ultimate ground or reality, can only be grasped by a mind cleansed by the withdrawal of the senses. Thus, in orthodox Hindu ashrams, expressions of sexuality are strictly forbidden. Desire is similarly frowned upon in Buddhist monasteries for it is believed to cloud the mind and emotions.  In Tantra however, the ideal is the expansion of the senses, and sexual sensations are employed to help open the chakras and arrive at a Void body that is alive with energy. 

Free of orthodoxy and monastic restrictions, Tantra was usually practiced by small groups of outsiders in India and the Himalayas. It is important to recognize that contrary to popular assumptions, the use of actual sexual partners occurs in Tantric practice by very few adepts in what is known as Left-Handed Tantra. Rudi never discussed sexual practices in relation to our work, which is Right-Handed Tantra. He did not condemn sexuality in his ashrams as along as it entailed responsible commitments to a partner and did not get in the way of realization. He said on several occasions when I knew him that none of his students were at the level where chastity would further their practice. Yet for him Kundalini was an all-consuming solitary pursuit and he eschewed partners as a distraction.

Sexual intercourse in Tantric art was widely portrayed, but it should be seen largely as a metaphor for internal meditation practices, even in Left-Handed Tantra. Here is an example from Bengali 19th century Tantric Hindu art, which shows sexual intercourse activating the three-fold energies of Kundalini (central and side channels) as they explode from the neck of the wisdom goddess Chinnamasta:

The Kundalini associations here are made even clearer by the serpents intertwined around Chinnamasta’s neck. The scissors held by Chinammasta and her disciples, and their skull necklaces, signify the severance and consequential death of the head/ego. 

It is worth recalling that in the Sri Yantra mandala, the conjunction of male and female elements is shown abstractly by the interpenetration of male and female pointing triangles that culminate in the bindu point of the Void body.  In Kundalini Tantra, the Void body, or in Dzogchen, Rigpa—the field of awareness symbolized by the bindu point in the Sri Yantra—is pulsating with energy. This has sexual connotations. The vibration of the Void body (or Spanda in the Hindu Tantric Sanskrit texts) is associated with sensations of quivering, shuddering, trembling and throbbing. In the Buddhist Tantric texts, the ultimate union with the Void is called mahamudra or the Great Seal. Robert Thurman, the pre-eminent Tibetan Buddhist scholar, has defined mahamudra as “total orgasmic oneness with the Void.” In the state of mahamudra the adept unites the male and female elements in him- or herself in the Void body. In Trika Shaivism, the roots of our lineage, the Trika is three into one, Shiva/Shakti/Void Body. In Hindu Tantra, Shiva (male consciousness or awareness) is united with Shakti female energy in the Void body. In Tibetan Buddhist Tantra, Yab/Yum are the terms for Shiva/Shakti but here the male element or Yab represents energy while Yum, the female component, signifies consciousness. 

In the Hindu Tantric texts, the expression goes, “Without Shakti, Shiva is a corpse.” In other words, without energy conscious is dead. In Dzogchen, the state of awareness is always conjoined with “space dancing itself”— or energy. Trekcho, cutting through to awareness, is inseparable from Togal, the apprehension of the dance of energy on the deepest level of experience.

The union of Shiva/Shakti in the Void body can alleviate much of the neediness for actual partnership, especially among advanced Tantric adepts.  Gauri, a great Hindu Tantric master, is quoted as saying, “When the Great Love occurs, all the holes in the body down to the hair pores become great vaginas. In each and every hole, one experiences Sex with the Self.”  Needless to say, this does not always happen when you do Kundalini meditation, but as you progress in this practice you should become increasingly aware of the pleasure of vibration as a kind of polymorphous sexuality. 

Also, actual sexual intercourse in a relationship can reach its fullest potential when the partners merge their open chakras and go into the Void body together. You do not need to employ the advanced Left-Hand Tantric practice in which there is no release of egg and sperm, although it is perhaps more powerful if you do. Of course you need to find someone who will show you the proper methodology first. With or without emissions, sexual heat may be channeled into orgasm on another level. This is the literal component of the Chinnamasta painting: the head is literally blown off the body by the surge of energy activated by sexual congress.   

It should be emphasized however that sex in Left-Handed Tantra is not a way of getting closer to the other person. It has very little to do with the Western idea of romantic love, as the participants remain focused on the vertical dimension— the activation of the central channel and the dissolution of the little self into the Void. At this point, male and female designations, as well as the entity of the bounded self, lose their significance.  Traditionally, sex in Left-handed Tantra is utilized strictly to further Void body attainment.  As such it is very impersonal, detached, and does not engender commitments to a partner.  It is quite definitely not a kind of madness.

For Rudi as well, partnership was a cautionary tale, of value only if it furthered growth on the vertical level. Plato described the search for a partner as the motivation for inner wholeness. Carl Jung has a similar idea; the conjunction of male animus and female anima elements within was the culmination of “individuation,” his word for spiritual growth.  In my experience, expecting a partner to fulfill one’s individual quest for wholeness places an enormous burden on the relationship.  True partnership, with or without the sexual component, is a great opportunity for warmth and companionship as well for revealing aspects of the little self that need improvement. The process of individuation of one’s authentic Self in a partnership can be impeded by co-dependency or unnecessary attachment. Both partners want to allow for each other to grow without projecting their ideas of growth on each other. When erotic madness fades—as it inevitably will— success in long-term partnerships is predicated on maintaining the delicate balance of aloneness and togetherness. This balance takes much skill and effort.  

I welcome your comments.